Sunday, February 24, 2013


there is feeling fucked up and then there is feeling extremely fucked up. today is the latter. no amount of apologies can eradicate that feeling of guilt stemming from your own inefficiencies and unprofessionalism. maybe i set too high a standard for myself that i dont forgive myself for mistakes i make, especially ones with relatively severe repercussions and entirely avoidable. and i hate the feeling of guilt. i absolutely hate it. while i dont get guilt tripped easily, when i know something is obviously my fault, i take a long while to get over it. i do not know how to face them and i might not even go next saturday. fuck this shit. work is piling and i have to cook and im feeling so tired and now im feeling guilty. that is the worst possible combination ever. what i need now is a freaking time turner

Twistin' at 9:02 AM
Saturday, February 16, 2013

CNY, Vday, 21st

Seeing a couple reunited after a mere 6 days apart acting as if they have not seen each other in years was reminiscent of what it was like in 2011 for me but still a tad bit ridiculous. But who am i to judge how long is long. Its sweet to see but it does bring about that awkward sense of longing too. hate that shit.

Poland was nice, war history can do no wrong for me and it had the right mix of everything in my opinion- food, culture, sights, retarded conversations. Just that it was bloody cold. No wonder they drink so much vodka.

I kinda regret not going back for CNY and missing dawn's 21st after seeing all the photos and skyping the family. you know i love you sis and it was really a dam stupid decision to not go back. but we all mistakes in judgement i guess. will make it up to you when i go back in easter.

In other news, tickets for easter and summer have been booked! now to get my summer school shit sorted out

Twistin' at 5:19 AM
Sunday, February 03, 2013


It's been such a hectic week and at 1.18am on Sunday, you would think rest at last but NO for some god forsaken mother fucking assholic reason im having insomnia(pardon expletives) at a time i thought i could possibly be not feeling any more tired.

And its times like this i turn to you, my old mate buuhx, you are always here to listen to what i have to say although i neglect you all the time.

The turn of events the past week meant i lost a pound in a bet but more significantly, i'm officially the only one of my SCBs left single and available, a stark contrast to the scenario this time last year. I'm probably not going to feel the effects of it until the summer when bro time gets significantly reduced but my bros were never mine to keep in any case. Too sudden in my opinion but still genuinely happy for them and hope it all works out beautifully.

For the second year running i emceed at the CNY carnival UCL and not sure if its the company(okay it definitely was) but it felt so much more fun and fulfilling this time round. Partly because this event was so much better than the previous year and it really warmed my heart to see everyone tired but genuinely happy not because its over but because they knew the event was a great success. You probably will never read this but Ashleen thanks for your message, it really touched me to read your words of thanks even though all i did was put in a day of hard work compared to what you guys have done.

So today concluded the end of the week where i could not have done any lesser work. Looking forward to my own event, the UKSSC DnD and hope it will be as successful as the CNY carnival.

And because i miss k-boxing so much, heres one of my favorite must sing emo hits



Okay time to grab some sleep

Twistin' at 5:37 PM