Saturday, October 30, 2010


I am officially living in the past.

The past 2 days online have been spent reading just about every single one of my 360++ posts on blogger since secondary 3. Reading and reliving those days in the back of my head does bring about some badly needed pick me up from the mundane life i've led the past few weeks except when i was in Brunei where you cant really consider jungle life as being mundane. Attempts at making outings happen the past few days to no avail have left me frustrated but i think its probably a sign that its high time to really lower expectations of friendship and i think i have already been doing a good job prior to this post. Not that i have lost faith in all my friends but i do get the sensing that with army, uni, other halfs and what have you, i am losing touch with quite a couple of them. Which is no surprise since this is the same problem that happened during the transition from primary school to secondary school. New environment, new friends, you start fading from existence and before you know it, the same old 'lets meet up' continuously ring in your ears but it just never happens. It didnt really happen in JC though because somehow most of my best SJI mates ended up in VJ. Gone were the days where impromptu outings happened after lectures and gone were the days days where you talked to the same people online everyday and still not run out of things to say. Well thats slightly extreme and not entirely true but you get the idea. I miss being the social butterfly i was and i dont need to lie about it. Going out with 3 different groups of friends on a saturday lulled me into the impression that i had a happening life which might indeed be true to a certain extent but no longer is this the case. My leaves in recent weeks have been spent lazing at home and i am think i am contented with that now. With my extension of service, it probably means i will only continue to have my weekends available and meeting lesser friends is a trend that probably wont buck anytime soon. But then again i think its also a problem on my part. i cant complain about my friends if i am the one that chose to pangseh and i apologise to the s64 dudes for doing so earlier. Spoke to ben about this issue a couple of weeks back and how i have decided to stop taking up such a pro-active role in organising outings and perhaps leave it to the others. The fact that i am going out less(and saving alot more which is good) is a tell tale sign that certain friendships have perhaps always been one-sided which is actually a rather depressing thought.

But all is not gloomy and dark. Arsenal won today after leaving me at the edge of my sofa for the better part of 85 minutes before finally scoring. I really hope they win something this year. Its high time they fulfilled that supposed potential.

In rather unrelated news, i saw this video about a video in 1928 which showed a woman on a cellphone, sparking some debate about the supposed time traveller and how it actually exists. If thats indeed the case, i wont really mind making friends with him/her. Going back to JC life over drawing allowance does seem like a rather good trade off. Bleagh i guess thats enough pessimism for the night. Maybe i will wake up tomorrow and feel happy about life agian. After all there is the 2.2k to look forward to come November. And chilling on the 36th floor always cheers me up. And i am actually rather excited for the next course come monday even if it means staying in and booking in tomorrow night. And there is the awesome halloween outing with the councilors tomorrow though i doubt anything more than 10 will turn up. I will be dressing up as the rare civilian. Thats gonna be so cool and awesome. Woo I rock

Twistin' at 10:39 AM
Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Finally got fed up enough with those damn adwares to remove my chatbox(not that there was much postings there anyway) And speaking of which sorry friends if you have been spammed with retarded mails asking you to buy viagra/got a penis/boobs enhancement etc. I know you do not need it but my computer feels my msn friends need it and i have no say to it.

In any case I am glad that i have made it safely back home and i have officially joined the gay glee lovers club. Ben ben suggested i watch it during my free time in Brunei and there has been no looking back since.

please make this feeling go away

Twistin' at 5:38 AM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010


So i find myself going to brunei and i find myself facing the old nemesis-mt bianc once again. Horrific memories of the last trip to that donkey ass place come swarming back as i am typing this. The heavy alice pack, the multiple cramps, the squeezing of 3 gay boys on 1 ground sheet, the heroics of zhang and of course that joke of a knoll tan aaraon made us climb. Going back as an instructor is easier yet tougher at the same time and i guess all i hope for is to survive this and not get some fever like the last time and not coming back.

Watching just about ALL my friends in ORD mode is a reason for extreme envy. So much so that i actually felt sorry for myself for even extending at one point. The thought of not seeing that lil squirm and jy in camp again coupled with the not so close ties i share with my fellow instructors did make me feel very empty. But i am glad i am kinda over that already and ready to embrace the next 8 months bravely(with the prospect of a fat wallet of course)

Managed to meet up with a few of the class dudes on monday and i conclude that i am just yearning for social life and for friends to hang out with all the time and my happiness is largely dependent on that. Laughing so hard with them as we reminisce about the good days/scandals/anything under the sun perhaps made me the happiest i have ever been in weeks.

Oh well may i survive brunei. see you when i am back

Twistin' at 6:14 AM