Sunday, November 25, 2012

2am and the rain is falling

So its 2am again and the sound of water dripping outside the window is kinda pissing the shit out of me even though theres no rain. Intermittent internet connection, periodic heating, a lousy bed made better only with layering of a duvet over it, insomnia and thats how i usually spend my nights in my room.

I miss being in hall where i actually felt taken care of, without the frequent firedrills of course. When i walked down maple street to cut my hair a few days back, i felt a strong sense of nostalgia as i passed ramsey and a fire truck was parked outside just like the old times.

It is true i do miss my life last year badly. Had the best roomate in the world, one of my best ever friends just down the corridor and my gym bro was always there ready to hit the gym with me. Tutorials were a breeze and there was absolutely no difference in going and ponning lectures. Much has changed this year, in a house where i can only call 1 other person a very good friend i can trust. I do get slightly irritated being spoken down to granted its my fault at times but i think its more because i just dont see myself being the best of friends with the entire house for life. Work is not any easier and i find myself struggling, having to copy tutorials and still not understanding. Im afraid i fuck up my exams in spring and i find myself screwed when i go back to work. People around me claim ot be struggling but all those comments are probably best taken with a pinch of salt.

A rather substantial part of my life-VinE ended yesterday as i handed over to the next batch. If life was ever shitty, it was always the retarded laughters and good times with my VJ friends that keeps me sane and its indeed a pity it had to end. But all good things come to an end and theres nothing much i can do. I do take comfort in the continuity present already. But life is seemingly empty.

Couple of friends got attached over the summer, some more recently, others came out of the closet. Many things to get used to in all honesty. The freedom of being single is awesome in most aspects having to answer to nobody and doing what you want but its slightly disturbing when your parents get worried 5 months after you broke up.

Perhaps i slightly am too because of the genuine lack of anyone i think who is suitable. That might sound a tad too harsh but the reality is that i get attracted to people that for one reason or another will probably not work out and so lies the story of my life.

At least tv series are not disappointing that much- walking dead is bloody awesome and i eagerly await each episode. But for now i guess its time to try and sleep again.

Twistin' at 6:32 PM