Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Rationality has never been one of my strengths although i must qualify this most certainly does not apply to work and it has never affected my professionalism but nonetheless my rash actions werent really regretted. Also glad that range concluded earlier than expected which means i enjoy a nice night at home on my bed.


This btw has to be one of the saddest song ever composed

Twistin' at 4:19 AM
Monday, June 27, 2011

poker and life


life is essentially a poker game. pre-flop represents the uncertain phase of life, the future which essentially you cant control like getting a job for instance. some go all in believing that its the way to go especially since those pocket aces in the form of the alevel ceret are worth the bet but at times you end up losing and it becomes one of those things in life that didnt work out.

after the flop you get a snapshot and clearer idea of the circumstances. while pre-flop might lull you into the false belief that it could be the right decision to go in and call any raises, with the flop you can now be slightly clearer in your decision making and there is time to pull out, likened to being offered a job in the manufactoring industry which isnt banking like you expected as opposed to being offered a job although in both cases it may come to nothing just like a flush and straight draw at the start. you can choose to fold and not accept or call by taking on what that job offers. you do not know what position yet but hey its worth a shot and in the end it may turn out well.

by the turn, if you have not been foolish enough to dive in and accept the job before knowing the true nature of it likened to calling for an all in either pre or post flop, you will now know that you are being offered the position of either engineer or technician subject to an interview. it could go both ways, much like dubs or a possible fullhouse.

if you are still playing at the river, the cards have all been laid out. you know the only thing that can win your nut flush is the full house. you decide that theres little chance you will get the technician job and its likely the engineer position is yours. you go for the interview and go all in and as life would have it, the opponent calls and you lose to the full house. you settle for technician.

but life isnt over so long as you do not give up. you decide to buyin again and get another shot at life. you make new decisions and attempts at other jobs. perhaps this time, it will work out

this post represents either of these 2 things.

1) i really need help and gamblers anonymous awaits me

or

2) i am dam bloody good at these analogies

i like to think its the latter. dont worry mummy i was really kidding about the gamblers anonymous. please dont overreact

and life presents itselves in so many interesting ways. i was certain my dubs were gonna get raped by the possible flush but i still went all in. i may have lost but i am going to buy in again and get another shot,hopefully a different table this time

Twistin' at 8:02 AM
Tuesday, June 21, 2011

emo nemo

Its never easy saying goodbye. I was never quite good at that but maybe its because i have never said goodbye to someone i really cared for except maybe for my dad when he left for china. I was never quite the emotional kid but within a week, i come to realise that 2 of my very good friends, possibly 2 of the best friends I've ever had are going away in the next few weeks. Thats life. It was correctly pointed out to me that with age, quantity of friendship decrease but quality increases. 07s42, SJIMB, Irhumba, 07s64, SC, SJI, army. Who stays close and who drifts?

I'm glad and happy one of my close bros found the love of his life, however complicated the story behind might be. But truth is, i find it hard to relate considering my love life has been an utter failure. This is not self pity, this is self evaluation. Wasted 2 years of my life chasing the impossible dream and i find myself in the same situation, not that far off, its been a little more than a year. Different girl same story. Its pathetic. I mock those jokes who wallow in self pity over that girl who wasnt worth all that sorrow but I think i am not that far off. I hate myself for being so vulnerable to social norms. I hate it when relatives ask why dont i have a girlfriend. But i think above all, I need to really really really meet some people. Come on university please come quickly.

Now to bury myself in some walking dead

Twistin' at 9:38 AM
Friday, June 10, 2011


I never thought i will hear myself saying this but i have 6 working days left! More excitingly however, it is aussie tomorrow with my SJI pals and its high time i enjoyed a nice holiday with my friends and its at a perfect timing.

In other news i got my Macbook Pro so goodbye to the old cui ttm HP laptop which now belongs to my mum(i paid for the formatting before the handover i must add) Its scary that its June already and in just about 3 months from now i wil find myself on the plane to London. Cant say i am THAT excited now compared to 3 months ago as that day draws nearer since there is so much to stay for but oh well.

While transferring my old documents into the new mac, i browsed through quite a fair amount of my old photos(mostly VJ) and it reminded me so much of things both good and bad. Said this countless of times but i miss so much of the past. After 10000 attempts finally met cam and jeanne last week and on the way back cam mentioned that if we choose to think about something and tell alot of people that very thing, chances are we accentuate the very feeling we are trying to overcome. Okay basically it means if i am dam pissed i should stop telling people i am pissed because by saying it i will become more pissed. Logic 101.

Oh well see you world in 11 days!



Twistin' at 6:31 AM