Monday, March 21, 2011

Emo Siol

I have done it. I have finally stopped being wishy-washy. On 21 1400 I officially rejected the SMS scholarship. This effectively rules out any possibility of SAFOS and i guess HDB is the way to go until 2019 at least.

Met up with a few friends the past week following my return from Thailand and it was fun as usual but how long we can keep this up I am not sure. Truth is as discussed with a friend, priorities change and a time will come where the weekly outings become monthly outings which become annual outings and before you know it it becomes a mere beautiful memory. Not that it isnt a bad thing. I still recall with a wide smile the great times spent with my pri sch gang including gim lim jason jevon junliang none of whom i am in contact with today. I believe in slight pessimism over over optimisim and maybe my thoughts are extreme. It sucked trying to find someone to go out with on a nice day off and yet nobody is free. Truth is i never experienced that before and its a sucky feeling. Ben casually said that i need a girlfriend and i guess it is true to a certain extent. Solitude has never been my cup of tea although thinking of solitude after just 1 day might come as a little bit extreme but fact remains i cant deny i miss the feeling of being loved, being cared for. Army has toughened me up in many aspects but most certainly not in this department. I miss that i can just message someone at any time and almost instantly receive a reply. I miss that i can just ask someone out and it will work out. Things may never have progressed much physically but emotionally i think we did progress significantly. Almost 4 years on i still regret what has happened and how things turned out. Things can only take a turn for the worse once i go the London but amidst all the doom i am glad that i will have some bit of s64 with me in London come September at least.

Oh well some life lessons just impact you more than others and hit you harder. Like how i will never forget being framed in primary school by that SOAB Randy Loo and how i cried in class after that. Good times, good times..

Twistin' at 6:54 AM