Sunday, February 14, 2010


HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Chinese New Year is the time of the year i love and will always look forward to. I get to wear my new clothes(finally), meet the relatives i see once a year and of course theres always the $$.

Rather unfortunately though, i am actually growing older each year, and it seems ang pows and age share an inversely proportional relationship much to my horror. And so does the supposed valuable family quality time spent. But then again 4 hours in my grandpa's house with only my sister anywhere close to my age is boring so i have reason to complain. When I was younger, i remembered making fun out of anything the most memorable one being piggy-backing my then 2 year old cousin and smashing him head first into the cupboard.I recall feeling immensely guilty after that but as i was only in p4, that guilt lasted for 1/2 hr. And even if all that failed, i would always have my trusty pokemon yellow to keep me entertained. Times change though. In a modern technology driven singapore, I regrettably am one without a smartphone which provides the ultimate distraction to awkward and boring situations. As i see my friends including my ex CO twice my age who boast about their tweeder and facebook on their phones, i cant help but reflect whether i am slowly being sucked into obscurity and becoming irrelevant.

But of course i am lying. How can i become irrelevant when i am watching my first season of american idol in season 9. ironic? a little perhaps but nonetheless better late than never. Watching the hollywood stages, i witnessed how many got their dreams shattered. How a country girl left her town for the very first time to go to hollywood and come back disappointed. How some leave their jobs to make that dream come true, to only find out they werent good enough. I used to think i suffered pretty disappointing moments in life in my short 20 years but truth is, more often than not i have not had the feeling of really losing something that i really wanted Rather i would only lose something i prefered more which makes the overall disappointment not too bad in retrospect. This could mean that its a sign i have not found much direction in my life yet.

For all that fuss of signing on the past months, the recent weeks have opened new doors for me. Listening to the stories of the NS men on what the outside world brings and all and how they were all so glad not to have signed on. That fire at the start is slowly but surely diminishing but then again you cant blame me when i am on lull in a non active/support unit now. Truth is i cant lie to myself that every posting will be a bed of roses but really this wasnt really the posting that will tell me YES ARMY IS FOR ME. Because of all these, I really want to go for ex pinnacle. I am praying to all gods(with no offence to either) that head log will allow me to do so. It might re-ignite what has been lost the past weeks.

But if theres one thing i know, i am never sure of what i really want and unfortunately its a trait that might stay for a while. The last lunar calender ended sour for me but hopefully the year of tiger brings about the luck and prosperity i so need with everything. So i shall just go with the flow and see where it brings me to.

Happy CNY once again friends!

Twistin' at 6:20 AM