Saturday, December 26, 2009

army days(delta part 1)

The conclusion of block leave saw my next adventure at SAFTI MI. Until recently, i have never understood the concept behind SAF training institute, military institute. it was like saying SAFAF, singapore armed forces, air force. But yeah i eventually found out it was a historical thing which i think no one would be interested in so i wont talk about it.

Day 1 of OCS was also memorable(as with BMT) for quite a few reasons. 1)I was late 2)I received the sticker D2 which effectively ended my life for about 3 seconds before i was brought back to reality 3) LTA faizal's fist introduction was when you speak you begin with sir and you end with sir.

That essentially stated the tone and what to expect from the course. I have heard my fair share of stories of Delta and how the last batch got it bad from the siao wing comm. How as the scholar wing there is more assessment and all. So when i got saw that sticker D2 it was as if the worst nightmare was happening. As we went to the parade square, i was glad that i was not alone. Far from it in fact. Hsuan Te, Chin Hao, Calvin Han, Jared Chew, Shaun Ware just to name a few of the people in my platoon. At least i know i wont be going through this alone.

Delta did not fail to live up to its reputation. We did so many push ups that i believe it suppressed my BMT record within 3 days. However the instructors were nice. The PCs and the APCs were as put in their own words 'different kind of delta instructors'. I eventually learned in joint term that they had taken a different approach from the other platoons. We have the honor of being perhaps one of the few wings in history to be so well versed in fire drills that we fell in faster than foxtrot for their fire drill. I got to experience the change parade of my life which lasted 45 minutes. That was CLM for you. You leave the bunk when its all dark and you arrive back at your bunk when its all dark.

The end of CLM also spelt one of the darkest periods of my army life. My buddy jared chew who happens to be a classmate of mine in SJI and shaun ware a dam good friend of mine both left delta for mids and air respectively. Up to that point of time, i was contented with my social network being limited to those people i knew and i spent just about all my admin time in either shaun's bunk or my own. The departure of the 2 of them left me pretty empty and lost to be honest, something i have not felt in quite a while. It could be the sucky CLM which caused my morale to be even lower. Admittedly, i became more heck care after they both left and being the only one without a buddy certainly did not help.

This was the build up to the single day i probably will never forget for the rest of army and even the rest of my life. It was the day before book out. The agenda was simple. Complete a live firing, go back clean arms and rest for book out. It was the 3rd week of OCS. The confinement was taking its toll on me mentally. I still rememeber the anticiapation and how elated i was to see my family come down for OCS family day visit. OCS has this uncanny knack of being able to manipulate your emotions(in my opinion) with the various trainings and things they do. The prospect of book out made everyone motivated. At the end of the night shot. It was almost 11 pm. Instead of a bus ride, we were treated to our first ever fast march. At almost midnight, we embarked on the single most crazy activity to do at such an unearthly hour. Till date, that march remains one of the toughest thing i have gone through in army and the one thing that really pushed me to both my combat and physical limits. But then again my PC was being crazy and walking real quickly. At then end of a tiring march like that, it would make sense to take a rest and drink water slowly. But no, a particular conducting officer chose to make us drink the full bottle. At that point i was foaming and to ask me to down a full bottle was almost impossible. After some time, the usual whos stil drinking was asked. I was not done but i know i cant finish it and my other friends cant too so a particular gavin yap told me to just keep silent. We were told to tilt our bottles and of course lots of water came out from mine. Immediately, i was singled out, yelled at for integrity and all that BS and was made to carry on 40. That was the first time i have in my whole life (even in school) been publicly scolded for something.

That embarrassment, that lost in pride really shook me. Following that whole drama was cleaning of arms. You would think after stepping into shit, you wont think your luck is that bad that you would fall into pee next. But as fate would have it, my PWO came to ask me what i was doing(because i was doing shit when cleaning arms). To be honest, my mind wasnt thinking too straight from the fast march and also the scolding earlier and i just said somethign to humour him. Immediately, he proved what i said was untrue and what happened next was a yelling from him that could have woken up people at the parade square even. I was stunned from it. Till date, no one else has experienced the wrath of WO HOO except for me and the things he said and the way he said it made me feel very small. I have lost all pride and confidence i had. I was shattered. That night was the one and only time i ever cried in camp. I had never felt lower before. Cruel, but i learned the hard way. It was a wake up call to my attitude i was showing in OCS thus far. My life would never be the same after that.

The story i just shared is something i have not told quite a lot of people and following that, i was really emo. In school you were emo over results, studies, girls and whatever stress a teenager goes through. My integrity was questioned, my attitude was questioned, this was enough for me to reflect the whole night. I could not sleep that night. My confidence shattered, my ego broken thats the feeling i got as i booked out. But i remember that night too for those who came to console me almost immediately and seemed to understand what i was going through. They were edmund and hsuan te and it was at that point of time i felt slightly glad for them in delta. They will both go on to be people i talk to rather often for the rest of service term.

The first 3 weeks of OCS gave me a very clear picture that this was no BMT. But i was glad for all the smses from my friends which gave me support along the way as it was not my nature to sms people esp in a period where i had such limited admin time.

Putting that few weeks behind me as much as possible, i carried on with the rest of service term. OOCs certs were being distributed with relative ease and it was so funny how we started section fieldcamp with 6 men out of the usual 8-10 despite having 2 men transferred over to us a week prior to fieldcamp. The 10 days fieldcamp that followed was the longest outfield deployment we had till date although we had the privillege of sleeping on safari beds. Fire movments were abundant as were the wild boars which attacked my whole section's fieldpacks except for me. 8 km with extra load at the end of 10 days with not much sleep was not as shag as the 100 push ups wing comm made us do after that although much of it was in an army context half fuck by the time we reached 50. And so we conquered the 10 days section fieldcamp and by then it was midway through service term.

The weeks were just flying by and the 5 1/2 work week was doing serious damage to my social life but i still found time to meet up with all my friends as much as possible. Platoon live firing was the next high point for me in service term. Feeling the ground vibrate as the bangalore exploded was as orgasmic as firing the GPMG during live firing and it was then when i enjoyed live firings for the first time and the war feeling really got my adrenaline pumping as what i remembered.

With a few weeks to go before the end of service term, delta finally got to do their EI survey although we were falsly convinced that all of will be staying anyway and i indicated signals although i was secretly ok with staying in infantry...

Twistin' at 8:52 AM