Thursday, October 02, 2008


i was just thinking about life when i remembered someone committed suicide 2 blocks from my home a few days ago. then there was the case of the NS man who died while doing pullups.life is so fragile, from the time our mum goes into labor to the time we finally die, we are so frail and delicate, exposed to the forces of nature awaiting the day the grim reaper claims us for his own. darren was mentioning something about the possibility of dying cause of killer litter and how unglamorous and stupid a way it is to lose your life. if you had just one more day to live and you knew it. how would you spend your last 24 hours? personally i would spend 12 hours with all my friends, reliving the days we used to enjoy and the other 12 with my family.

tomorrow marks another milestone in my short life thus far. farewell assembly is tomorrow and yet i dont seem to feel any tinge of emotion. perhaps 2 years is not enough to develop in me the sense of belongingness which sji provided me with. perhaps too much shit happened in these 2 years to leave me with nothing much to savour and make me want to relive it again. tomorrow is the last day i probably get to interact with some of the schoolmates. pessimistic? maybe but hey thats the life of a JC student in my perspective. what used to seem like a strong bond just diminishing in a matter of a few months.it happened in council, it happened in class and everything is seemingly just breaking apart. dont get me wrong, i have friends i made in VJ who will always occupy a place in my heart and i will never cease contact with. but looking at the bigger picture, such is the way we function and think that big groups can never stay tight for sustained periods of time. of course i am not being entirely accurate, Jomaine's IP class would be a good example of a big group still staying tight.

i can delude my friends and tell them i dont give a damn anymore but who am i kidding.i still care and i still give a damn. waiting for a reply which never came never made me feel so sour inside before. in fact i feel bloody foolish, perhaps the entire situation was purely one sided and i was the only one who wanted to salvage what was already lost.yet the irony is that i never wanted things to go so out of hand as it did. i never expected such a reaction. i grow tired of waiting. you've won, i've lost, i am all ready to throw in the towel. i am not gonna make myself some wuss and lose whats left of my pride to try to make things right again. i am not that desperate. and the disappointment largely eclipses the sadness

我的认真败给黑色幽默

Twistin' at 7:24 AM